I’m Feeling This One

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The Beginning Of A New Year

Honestly, I don’t even want to think about last year. Not only did my sister and her son die of cancer, but I lost two of my favorite people in the world to COVID – a father and son. After them, I lost my last living aunt on my Mom’s side. Plus, there is a current tragedy in the works I cannot talk about yet.

Still, this is the beginning of 2022 and I am somewhat leery of it, so to speak. So many things are in mid-air like little boxes. It feels like it is just before gravity grabs hold and bring the little ‘life boxes’ down to the ground.

Since moving back to the hills, I have been unsettled, unhappy, and sick with so much physical pain; 2021 felt like I was bouncing around on bubbling, boiling water because. There wasn’t anything I felt like I had control over. I still don’t, actually. Feel like I have control. Feel like I can pull myself out of the water. BUT I have decided to be proactive for 2022.

My goals aren’t worth relating – except I am going to return to blogging regularly – so I don’t consider them New Year’s Resolutions. They are my goals, though. This year I am choosing to begin it with open eyes, squared shoulders, and an active brain. The active body will happen, too, but it will take me a while to get me moving anywhere close to painlessly. (I know – it won’t be painless, I’m just realistically looking for moving with less pain.) I have set goals.

I hope 2022 doesn’t suck great big hairy monkey balls.

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What do you think? Do you agree? Is this a good idea? Should we lockdown everyone who hasn’t had a COVID vaccination? Perhaps we should put them in ‘internment camps’ (better ones than the Nazis’ had, of course).

Personally, I don’t. I have an instinctual fear of this – my Being and Self are in danger. One idea has been pushed until it has been accepted: The vaccine will make everything perfect – just like it was before. Things can’t be like they were ‘before’, because the world has changed and we’ve watched it and we’ve taken part in this scenario on one side or another and in one way or another. Or, we know someone who has and has not had the vaccine There isn’t any ‘going back’ to when people were allowed to be people for good or bad by their choices. We are very close to losing the right to make decisions for ourselves and have those decisions respected. Could we see this happen in my lifetime, our lifetime? I think it’s very possible.

We need to look forward now and learn from the past so some mistakes are not repeated. This time it would be worldwide, not just in a specific area. Every country would have ‘interment camps’; every city and town. Every family and person is affected.

And all of this is happening in our Time. When our grandchildren and great-grandchildren ask, “Why did you not do something?” What will we say? We are living in scary times. I pity the generations following us. What genuine freedom will they know? What will their idea of freedom be like?

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A Mozart Morning

It appears The Husband and I are bringing up the sun. Mozart’s Nativity works, or works of his usually played at Christmas, is the background. We haven’t done this for a while – sit up all night and just be together, doing our own things side by side. We’ve talked, laughed. Chatted. Though I am tired and the pain is hitting the annoying stage, I wouldn’t have done anything differently.

Tonight I finally felt a little bit safe. It hadn’t hit on me how agitated I really was, am. But, I realized I felt safe and that gave me the energy and will to actually make some creative plans for tomorrow. It was enjoyable to open my OneNote and make a page of To-Do things. There aren’t overwhelming things like ‘write a Pulitzer novel’ or anything. It is simple little things like, ‘play with the dogs’, etc. For the first time in a long time, my Soul took a deep breath and relaxed just a little.

My family is still going through super bad troubles. A new thing has turned up that has almost devastated this family! I can’t go into details, but it has shaken my foundation some. That uneasiness is NEVER easy to bear, especially on top of all the recent bad with losing my sister and nephew just three months apart.

Amid all the whirling chaos surrounding me, my Soul was finally able to take a breath. I felt safe. Good. I feel safe. All I did was pick up a pencil and do a little journaling. Then I was designing a Christmas card I want to send to my niece in Florida. I hadn’t drawn anything in ages. I am going to have to be creative or, I feel, I won’t survive catastrophe after catastrophe. with my wits intact. Lol.

\Now, I am going to greet the sun with some Psalms with Mozart’s accompaniment. Hope today is a good one for you all.

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Kraft Heinz recalls,“…select Arizona Tea, Country Time Lemonade, and Tang powdered beverages, as well as certain Kool Aid products.”

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“Spaces” Video – For Everyone

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Weighing In On Aaron Rodger’s COVID-19 “Scandal”

Image result for aaron rodgers

If you have been following me for any length of time, you probably know I am a die-hard Greenbay Packers’ fan. Greenbay was my Dad’s favorite team and I grew up watching them during the era of “Mean Joe Green”, etc. However, as I have aged I’ve come to understand my favorite team(s) are made up of fallible humans and therefore are not perfect and have never been perfect. And, I’m OK with that. Who on this planet is genuinely ‘perfect’?

I agree it was wrong for Aaron Rodgers to omit he had not taken the shot, but, it is his inalienable right not to do something – like take a shot. I am also the mind if you have to have a card saying you have had the shot before going into a restaurant to eat is wrong. Having the government tell you you must have the shot they are over-stepping their bounds.

In this life, there are few things a human being has control of when you really get down to the brass tacks. Our bodies are the most important unit we have some say in. Being told you have to take a shot or else smacks of old-fashioned Communism. You know the kind, right? People were fighting the Cold War so America wouldn’t become like Communist Russia. Now our own government is doing the same thing, but few people seem to be up in arms like I think they should.

I support the right to take, or not take, the COVID-19 vaccine as the individual sees fit. I myself cannot take any type of flu shot. But, it is my right to choose whether or not to risk taking the vaccine and I choose to err on the side of caution.

What are your feelings and thoughts on the matter?

All in all, I say leave Rodgers alone. He is a grown-ass man and can make his own decisions. The government should not even attempt to make any sort of decision for him, or anyone else.

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Protected: November 3 – A Good DaY

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Protected: November 2, 2021 – The Beginning

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The Silt Is Settling

It has been over a month since my sister’s passing. Hardly a day goes by I don’t think of her in some way. The hardest part is when I see or read something and I reach for the phone to give her a ring and share it with her. ‘

Rose was my very first ‘best friend’ and she remained that until the very end, and I know, believe, she is at peace now in Paradise without pain and worry. Still, I miss her oh so very much! But, with luck and love I will see her again.

I would like to say I am in the healing process, but it doesn’t feel like it, really. Creativity has been at a nil and the days have passed by colliding with each other into a gigantic mess of dates. Only recently have days begun to feel like days. Still, I know I am healing. It simply doesn’t happen all at once. That is impossible – without a miracle, of course.

Creating is something I need to do more of. Painting. Writing. Reading. Poetry. Now, I believe I can create something positive and happy, it is just going to take a massive amount of effort to do so. Sissy wouldn’t want me to give up creating, doing things. She encouraged me more than anyone else except my Daddy and Mom to be who I am. I guess continuing to create is a way to honor her and my parents, and my two remaining sisters.

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